Day #261: Kameelputs, SA: The Search for Food

I should've bought bread instead of eggs. The electricity is out, making it difficult to cook up eggs. Quite a bummer.

Dale sent a text message. What a sexy guy! Damn, I wish he was here. One day all of this will make sense. I have to believe.

I remember Traleathea and me making salad in Moruleng on a night without electricity. We ventured out alone in the dark to the store. What an adventure! What were we thinking? All in search of food. You should see what we'll do for food. It's just crazy.

Ma thinks I may have been bit by a cockroach. Good God, I hope not. That's just frighteningly tragic. I don't even want to imagine. An unattractive man that I've met once before called again this afternoon. I'm gonna have to get rude. Such a heartbreaker I am. Yeah, right!

Thank you, Jesus, for the beauty of this day. Nothing like some good old-fashioned kid-fun to make me focus on the mission at hand.

Day #260: Kameelputs, SA: Peace

Just woke from a long nap. The rain tapped on the tin roof all afternoon as the thunder echoed in the distance. I loved it! What perfect weather for laziness. I even dreamt in peace.

I have a very painful canker sore. It hurts like a bitch sincerely.

Talked to Dale last night and almost wish I hadn't. I want to chat with him tonight, to hear the rain above as our music, the ground below as our security. It'll have to wait until next week. Whatever they say about absence and a fond heart must be true. I adore my man!

I am concerned for my distraction from Jesus, that I think of Dale too much and Jesus takes the toll. He gets pushed into smalled cavities in my mind to make room for Dale when clearly it should be the other way around. I have faith that both Jesus and Dale can coexist, that I can have my cake and eat it, too, sort of speak, that God blesses me with Dale because He believes in my ability to have both close.

I have to make a speech for the community of Mammutla. I'm a bit nervous. Actually considering calling in sick or dead. I'm sure I'll do just fine. I have peace in my mind and Jesus in my heart.

Day #259: Kameelputs, SA: Angels

An unattractive man told me he loves me under a tree this afternoon, his brown eyes desperately looking for something that isn't in mine. I actually got a little nervous that he might use his brute strength to persuade me. The nice thing was that a coombie stopped to make sure I was okay. I feel good-watched and protected.

Thank you for angels, Jesus. I appreciate you sending them my way. The kiddies will be here in 45 minutes. I promised them balloons today. That's all it takes to make them happy. One balloon. Damn, I love children! Talk about angels.

I LOVE DALE ALAN! We're making it. We're fighting through. Thank you. The just shall live by faith.

Day #258: Sekhing, SA: Comforting and Free

I had a horrible dream that I'm still recovering from. I remember sobbing and running from men with machine guns. Good God, protect my dreams. Make me feel safe and protected from evil by your love. I love you so!

A friend of mine may get a divorce. I can't even imagine. I can see that they love each other. Why can't it be that simple? What makes me think Dale and I can make it when so many people are cashing in, giving up, letting go. I'm going to keep the faith.

I'm sitting in Traleathea's room alone, not too anxious to get back to Kameel. They journey alone wears me down. I miss the kiddies, though, and there's something so nice about being back in my own space. Comforting and free somehow. Well...as long as the roaches are on their best behavior.

Thank you, Jesus, for pushing me through another week. I put my trust, my faith, my love, and my life only in you. PEACE!